So, um, not to alarm you or anything, but ... the world is supposed to end later today.

When, exactly? I’m not sure. (Better read fast!)

How will it end? I’m not sure of that, either. Maybe an asteroid. Or some kind of big bang — in reverse.

Why today? Well, it all has to do with something called the World Population Clock and the fact that it’s about to hit 6,666,666,666. Biblically speaking, you understand, that’s a pretty scary number, and one that figures heavily in horror movies of a certain genre, usually starring a young boy named Damien and sometimes, a devout priest who meets an untimely and grisly end.

The Population Clock is maintained by the U.S. Census Bureau, and it keeps a running tally of how many human beings are crowded onto Planet Earth. Of course, that total changes every second, so the number can’t be precise — but the Population Clock is said to be a fairly accurate estimate.

And sometime today it’s expected to reach that ominous-sounding number of 6,666,666,666, which has inspired at least a few Chicken Littles to predict impending disaster.

My message: Relax. Unpack your suitcase. (You won’t need clothes in the hereafter, anyway.) Put that money back in the bank.

Because I seriously doubt the world will end today. Think about it: Plenty of other apocalyptic predictions have fallen flat.

Y2K, for example. Jan. 1, 2000. Remember that? The first day of the new millennium was supposed to be a worldwide disaster of epic proportions — if not The Big One. What ended up happening? The people in information technology had to figure out how to override automatic calendars in computers and reset them manually. Whoop-de-doo.

And hasn’t Pat Robertson predicted several times that Armageddon was imminent? Sorry, Pat, the bookies in Las Vegas no longer take bets on this. Your predictions are too, well, predictable.

So I think we can breathe easy — for a while, anyway. As flawed as this world is, and despite the alarming rise in natural disasters that would seem to spell doom, I still think we’ll be around for a few more eons.

Scientists tell us that it will be 7.6 billion years before Earth is incinerated, sucked into the fiery furnace of the sun as it expands during its inevitable “red giant” phase. And that pretty much will be that.

The Bible, of course, says it will all be over long before then. The signs of Christ’s second coming are everywhere. All you have to do is watch Fox News, and you’ll see ample evidence.

Dec. 21, 2012, seems to be a popular date for Armageddon. Depending on which source you believe, either Nostradamus or ancient Mayan astrologers — or both — favor 12/21/12 as the big day.

With all those 1s and 2s, it does have a certain numerical alliteration to it. Like 6,666,666,666 ... only less satanic.

Now, see? You read all the way to here, and the only thing coming to an end is this column.

Apocalypse now.

Jeanne Malmgren can be reached at malmgrenj@independentmail.com.