There has been a lot of talk during the past couple of years about how Chuck Norris is awesomely god-like. There were tons of top 10 Chuck Norris-isms like “Chuck Norris invented water” and “Chuck Norris’s beard can bring a small calf back to life.”

Then, of course, this trend trickled down to other famous persons, both fictional and real. Jack Bauer had to be included, with such witty sayings as “Superman wears Chuck Norris’s hand-me-down Jack Bauer pajamas,” while even John Stamos had his moment in the sun with wwujd.com.

I now move to elect a new uber-man for manly men to idolize, and my choice may seem a little strange at first glance. I choose Steve Wilkos, who has been manning up right under our noses for years now.

You may know Wilkos as the bald head of Jerry Springer’s security detail during that show’s heyday, and now Wilkos is dishing out his own brand of talk show insanity five days a week. Wilkos’ show usually contains no fighting and focuses instead on fixing people’s problems and changing their lives. However, Wilkos is now stuck in the inevitable talk show rut with topics like “My Aunt is Pimping Me Out” and “Prostitute Sting.”

Despite clichéd topics, Wilkos still comes off like a tough-as-nails Springer, the kind you’d want to have on your side in a street fight or nuclear holocaust. He makes his guests stand up onstage and if confronted with a young prostitute ruining her life, Steve will honestly tell her she’s “a dirty little hoe spreading around the goods.” Wilkos is also known to hand wife beaters bats and ask them to hit him.

Google this guy or follow the link below, either way you’re going to be entertained. Here’s to you, Steve Wilkos. You’re saving people’s lives one young prostitute at a time, or you’re saving the life of a young actress pretending to be a prostitute. Either way, Chuck Norris should be wearing Steve Wilkos pajamas in no time.

http://www.stevewilkos.com/

I thought I’d let you all know about the revamped collegehumor.com. The site’s videos are now higher quality and faster-loading, so jumping from video to video is better than ever. The site is designed to have you watching videos for hours, considering they pop up four new possibilities after each one.

I’m not sure why, but the site kept putting cartoons up when I visited, but the two I found were both hilarious takes on family-friendly cartoon characters. The first is a Super Mario Brothers takeoff that features all the villains trying to figure out why they are having such a hard time killing him. Then they do something about it.

Something terrible.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1824771

The second is a therapy session featuring a smorgasbord of breakfast cereal mascots. They fight bipolar disorder, drug addiction, and problems with their spouses and girlfriends.

Come to think of it, when we were kids we did treated those guys like garbage. We stole from the Leprechaun, deprived the rabbit, and got the Cocoa Puffs guy hooked on his own supply. We used them up and spit them out, only to leave them cold and alone while we bought store brand to help fend off the rising price of gas.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1814036

URBAN DICTIONARY WORD OF THE DAY

Mario (v.) — The act of jumping into the air and very forcefully landing on something.